As the first week of the Beijing Olympics came to a conclusion, it became more obvious to me than ever about the importance of mental preparation. In my opinion, Michael Phelps performance was perhaps the single most amazing athletic feat in modern history. Phelps won an incredible eight gold medals. Five came in individual events and three in relays. He set seven world records and one Olympic record. All of this came as he swam 17 races in eight days. Physically, he was in tremendous condition, as were all of the competitors he faced in the finals of each event . However, I believe his superior training not only involved his physical endurance, but also his ability to be prepared for any situation he faced in the pool. Phelps had to be ready to deal with close races, as he had in the 100 meter butterfly, which he won by one one hundredth of a second. He had to be prepared to swim the final 50 meters of the 200 butterfly with his goggles filled with water. Yet, he still won the race in world record time, even though he was disappointed he didn’t swim it faster.
Natalie Coughlin won six medals, more than any other American woman in any sport at one Olympics. Dara Torres, at age 41, won three silver medals and proved to all of her naysayers that you should not use age as a limit to your dreams. Nastia Liukin won four medals and Shawn Johnson three in women’s gymnastics. Both women were shown numerous times visualizing their events while waiting for their turn to compete in their events. Numerous athletes in both gymnastics and swimming were quoted after events about how their mental preparation helped them handle the pressure of Olympic competition.
So are Olympic champions the only athletes who can benefit from mental preparation? Of course not. I always like to say you can have two athletes of equal skill and physical make-up, but the one with the stronger mind will come out on top. All of the previously mentioned athletes have spent countless hours preparing for competition at the Olympic level. Although they spend countless hours in the pool or in the gym training and training for hours on end, they also spend a significant amount of time mentally going over their events. Part of this training involves preparing for all the situations they can imagine prior to and during their events. I always encourage athletes to make a “What If” list. In this list, they write out every kind of scenario they can imagine that could occur prior to, or during their competitions. Michael Phelps WAS prepared for his goggles filling up with water and he WAS prepared for the 100 butterfly where he was dead even coming to the wall. Nastia Liukin and Shawn Johnson had practiced thousands of times in their minds what would happen if…….
Research has found that athletes who visualize have a significantly greater chance of success compared to athletes who don’t. So it does not matter if you are a weekend warrior, a little league baseball player or an athlete with Olympic aspirations, take the time to mentally prepare for your event. It may be the difference between your success or failure at reaching your goals.
I recently spent two days working with 80 high school basketball players who were participating in the MidAmerica Baskeball Academy camp at Benedictine College. This camp gives these young men the opportunity to showcase their basketball skills in front of numerous college coaches as they continue their quest to attempt to obtain a college scholarship. The athletes are separated into eight teams, with four teams playing and four teams spending time in the classroom. While in the classroom, they have the opportunity to hear a number of speakers discuss topics like nutrition, NCAA rules, motivation and life skills. I spend close to ten hours with each group over the two day period talking about a variety of topics from team building to concentration training and relaxation/visualization development.
One of the exercises I have the teams participate in has them make a list of the issues they face as high school athletes who want to make it to the next level. Each of the eight teams makes a list of the issues they have to deal with on a daily basis. After they share the list with the group, we discuss the topics and attempt to find ways to assist them at dealing with these issues. Although they listed a wide variety of topics, the one common issue that each group listed was building self confidence. Throughout our discussions, the athletes all mentioned how their confidence was perhaps the most important attribute they needed to maintain in order to achieve their goals of advancing to play in college. Almost all of them mentioned that there were times when their confidence was negatively effected by coaches, parents, teammates as well as opponents and referees. Many of these young men stated that often they were more concerned with what others said or thought about them, than what they needed to do to be more focused about themselves.
Self confidence, which I feel essentially means how you believe in yourself, is one of the easiest things an athlete can lose, and can be one of the hardest things an athlete can build. I equate to climbing a mountain of mud, one slip and down to the bottom you go and you have to start all over again. For years, this has been one of the most important topics I have worked on with athletes at all levels of competition. I have found that the best way to build it, is to develop and establish a strong foundation. This can be done by setting realistic, short term, easily attainable goals. By accomplishing these goals, one step at a time, I think it gives the athlete the opportunity to taste success, yet not jump to far ahead of himself. For example, if you are teaching a tennis player how to hit a serve, break the serve down into three parts; footwork, the toss and the serve itself. Too often, athletes get confused by being told too many things at once by a coach, and consequently get overloaded too quickly. If you work on the short term goals, one step at a time, you will give the athlete the opportunity to feel good about himself, too see his success and to give themself the opportunity to try a little harder, or more difficult task the next time.
I have found the other main component related to building self confidence has to do with who influences you. Many of these basketball players shared how easily distracted they became before, during and after games by others. Consequently, they were at times, so easily effected by others opinions, that they would lose their focus and eventually, their self confidence. I asked these athletes to draw four concentric circles. In the center circle, I asked them to list the most important people in their life. In the second circle, people who they cared about outside of their inner circle. In the third circle, people they had to deal with, who were not that important to them and in the fourth circle, list the people they had to deal with that they did not like. I have found this exercise can make you aware of who has an influence on you positively and negatively. By realizing this, you can then make a decision about who you want to effect your self confidence
June 24, 2008
CAN YOU GUARANTEE A VICTORY?
On Saturday, June 7, 2008, the sport of horse racing was set to watch the running of the Belmont Stakes with the hope that favorite, Big Brown, would become horse racing’s 12th Triple Crown winner. Big Brown was the overwhelming favorite to win the race and become the first horse since Affirmed in 1978 to win the Triple Crown. The excitement had been building quickly after Big Brown ran away from his competition in the Preakness three weeks earlier. Even though he had been treated for a crack in his hoof, Big Brown’s trainer, Rick Dutrow, was more than confident that he would easily defeat his competition. In fact, he was so convinced that Big Brown would easily win the race that during an interview, he “guaranteed victory”.
Dutrow was not the first athlete, coach or trainer to claim victory before the competition began. Perhaps the most famous of all guarantees came in Super Bowl III from New York Jets quarterback, Joe Namath. He promised the Jets would defeat the Baltimore Colts and become world champions, and as we know, they did.
But, have you ever wondered what would have happened to Namath’s career had the Jets lost? Over the years, many other athletes have promised a victory for their team, usually because on paper, they were superior to the competition. However, this overconfidence or cockiness, often became the downfall for many of these athletes and teams and led to their demise. Upsets happen all the time in sports, mostly because the superior team or athlete just takes it for granted that because they have a better record or are more physically dominant, they will win on their reputation alone. And as we know from many examples, most recently the Belmont, it just doesn’t always happen that way.
Even though Big Brown was in a good position as the horses ran down the backstretch, his jockey, Kent Desormeaux, did not feel he had what it would take to win the race and pulled him up as the horses entered the home stretch. Dutrow was extremely upset and soon after the race even blamed the jockey for his horse’s failure to win. Although they could not find anything physically wrong with Big Brown, he obviously did not have what he needed to win the race.
I was extremely interested in the outcome of the race, as Affirmed was owned by my cousin, Patrice Wolfson. I had the privilege to have watched him race five times and over the years have come to appreciate just how difficult it is to win the Triple Crown. Patrice’s father, Hirsch Jacobs was the winningest trainer in the history of horse racing when he died in 1970. His horses had won 3,596 races upon his death, but had lost several thousand more. As an adolescent, I spent several days one summer going to the track with my uncle and learning a little about the sport. One of the many things he taught me, was to never take anything for granted, especially when it comes to sports. I learned a quote from him and his son that I have used as my philosophy,
“Sports is the greatest theatre in the world, everyone knows their part, but no one knows what will happen”.
No matter what sport you compete in, no matter what position you play, no matter how many hours you train, there still is no guarantee that you will win. If you go into a competition being mentally and physically prepared, having a positive, yet realistic attitude it will give you the best chance for success. When the day comes that you start to get a little overconfident, remember Rick Dutrow and his guarantee that Big Brown would win the Triple Crown. Instead of winning the Belmont, he became the first horse in history to enter the Belmont with an opportunity to win the Triple Crown, and end up last.
May 21, 2008
It happens to all of us. It doesn’t matter if you play tennis, golf or football. It doesn’t matter if you are a man or a woman. It doesn’t matter if you play youth sports or are playing senior golf. We are all guilty of thinking negative thoughts while we are participating in sports. Whether it is the thought that you can’t make that four foot putt, hit the winning serve or catch the touchdown pass, everyone thinks negative thoughts at some time during their athletic event. One of the important keys to overcoming them is to not let them control you and take over your thought process.
Over the 27 years I have worked as a sport psychologist, I have dealt with Olympic athletes, professional athletes and national champion collegiate athletes, all of whom have had negative thoughts and negative self talk overtake them during their athletic careers. You would think that athletes at those levels would be immune to such thinking, but they are no different than the weekend warrier. During our lives we all have to learn how to handle negativity, whether it is in school, work, sports or relationships.
I vividly recall one of the 1984 Olympic cyclists who won a medal, who constantly fought his negative thoughts while he road, even when he was in the lead. He would often think of reasons why he wasn’t strong enough or fast enough to win the race. Even though he had been through a superior training program, was in the best shape of his life and had one of the fastest times in the world in his event, he still came up with reasons why he would not win. He thought this way because he had grown up in a world of constant criticism from both parents about why he wasn’t good enough and why he would not succeed. We worked together on getting him to identify these thoughts and come up with a game plan to overcome them while he competed.
Another national champion swimmer used to tell me why she wasn’t going to win. Even though she had the fastest times in her events in the country, she was very good at telling me why her opponents would beat her in the big races. For her, it all centered around self-doubt. She had a youth level coach who rarely complimented her and usually told her she needed to and could do better, even when she would set personal best records.
For both of these athletes, as for yourself, there usually is a reason related to past performances why you will think negative thoughts. It may have come from statements others may have made about you, from personal expectations you have set for yourself, or from the dreams you may have to be a champion. The key to overcoming these thoughts is to identify when you think them and why you think them. Start keeping a journal of the negative and positive thoughts you think about during competition. You will find a pattern that exists for each. For each negative thought, write down the opposite positive thought. Start identifying the situations you think these thoughts and become aware of when you think them. Train yourself to change these thoughts from negative to positive. Remind yourself about how hard you have trained, and about your personal goals. The more aware you become of the negatives you are thinking, the more aware you will become of changing them.
April 21, 2008
On Monday, April 7, 2008, the University of Kansas Men’s basketball team won the third national championship in school history. A team with several experienced players, a very successful head coach and coaching staff saw the victory that had eluded them in the past few years. The team has several potential NBA players on the roster and had high expectations coming into the 2007-2008 season. The last KU team to win the national championship was in 1988 and was headlined by current KU assistant coach, Danny Manning. Year in and year out, expectations are high for the KU basketball team, with dreams of a national championship always involved in preseason discussions.
So, how did this team emerge with a victory in a Final Four that for the first time had all four number one seeds advancing to college basketball’s final weekend? Obviously, all four teams that reached the Final Four have tremendous talent, with several stars destined for the pros. All four coaches have been extremely successful with great resumes and backgrounds. Their coaching styles, recruiting abilities and motivational tactics together with the physical and psychological talents of their players all had roles in reaching the pinnacle of college basketball’s greatest tournament.
KU’s victories over North Carolina and Memphis were emotionally charged and exciting, but why were they able to win and not their opponents? I believe that one of the major differences was their attitude. No matter what the score, whether they were way ahead of North Carolina, or nine points down with two minutes to go against Memphis, the KU players never quit. Yes, KU sprinted out ahead of North Carolina by 28 points in the first half. By the middle of the second half, North Carolina cut the lead to four points, before KU moved way ahead and won by 18. Despite North Carolina’s great comeback, KU never stopped believing in themselves or their team’s ability. I think this starts with the head coach and moves all the way down the roster. The championship game against Memphis was close all the way until the Tigers went ahead by nine. Many teams would have given into the pressure and collapsed, but the KU players kept diving for loose balls attacking the basket and going after rebounds. Mario Chalmers three point basket with just over two seconds to play put the game into overtime, and KU vaulted ahead to victory.
I believe that the lesson we can learn for ourselves, as well as our young athletes is that no matter what, never quit, never give up. If you do, you may not always come away with a win, but you will always be able to walk away holding your head up high. Years ago, Great Britain Prime Minister Winston Churchill gave his famous speech in Fulton, Missouri about never giving up. As an athlete or coach, instilling that attitude in your mentality will help you become a success on and off the athletic field. Even though, KU won the national championship, all four teams that participated in college basketball’s final weekend were winners as well.
April 4, 2008
I recently drove by the elementary school both of my sons attended several years ago. It was a nice spring afternoon, a great day for a game of 500 at the baseball field or maybe just a neighborhood football game. Yes, there were kids on the baseball fields. Both fields had organized practices going on with a couple of dads coaching. There were several other parents sitting around watching. No one was on the soccer fields and I did not see any kids on the playground. Why not? I think there are a couple of reasons.
I am 53 years old and grew up in the 1960’s. After school, we used to go up to our grade school and play baseball or football until dark. My house had a wrap around driveway, so my friends and I always played basketball at my house. Usually, it did not matter what the temperature, we played until dark, and we did it all the time. Today, things are different. As I said, I believe there are two specific reasons.
First, and probably more a symptom of our society than anything else, there are legitimate safety reasons. Most parents today are reluctant to let their kids take off on their bike on their own. They want to know where their kids are and who they are with. As a parent, I agree with this. Because of the numerous media outlets we have, whether it is tv, radio, the internet, cellphones or papers and magazines, we are much more aware of and concerned about sex predators, child predators and unhealthy people in our society. Most parents will feel much safer knowing that their kids are at someone else’s house rather than playing on their own at the school or park. It is not uncommon for a group of kids to be playing, but under the supervision of an adult nearby.
Second, I think that today’s generation of parents have gotten way too caught up with signing their kids up on an organized sports team at a very young age. I have recently heard about four year old T-ball leagues that are being set up. In my opinion, there is no reason for this. Once kids start kindergarten, it is now commonplace to enroll your child on the soccer or basketball team, but I don’t think kids younger than kindergarten need to be put on an organized team. I doubt that most kids that age, go to their parents and ask to sign up for a team. It comes from the parents, because of pressure to keep up with everyone else, and for some because of the hope of their child playing in high school or college. Actually, the majority of kids who start playing a sport before kindergarten, usually quit before high school.
My main concern about this issue is are we as parents, because of our interest in getting kids in organized sports at a young age, curtailing their ability to create and play on their own? Have we organized everything so much for them, that we don’t give them the opportunity to choose sides and just play? Do they always need a parent around instructing them how to swing the bat or shoot the ball? Once in a while, wouldn’t it be a good idea to let them play on their own without an adult in charge? I’d like to know your thoughts.
February 19, 2008
In early February, a situation occurred at a small Catholic school in central Kansas regarding one of their basketball games. A high school boys basketball game was about to occur at St. Mary’s Academy. One of the two referees chosen to officiate the game was a woman, Michelle Campbell. Just before the game was to begin, St. Mary’s officials told Ms. Campbell that she would not be allowed to officate the game. The explanation that she was given was that it was inappropriate for a woman to officiate a boys game because a woman should not be put in a position of authority over boys. Because of this decision, the other referee and back-up referee, both men decided not to referee the game in protest of the school’s decision.
This was not the first time St. Mary’s Academy has been involved in a dispute between boys and females on the athletic field. In September 2004, St. Mary’s was supposed to play White City High School in a football game. However, when the St. Mary’s administrators found out that one of White City’s football players was a girl, they decided that they would rather forfeit the game, rather than play against a girl.
Obviously, St. Mary’s Academy has a very strict policy about their athletic teams. They believe it is inappropriate for boys to either be officiated by women, or for boys to play any sports with or against girls. When I discussed this topic on my weekly radio show on Sportsradio 810WHB, all of the callers to my show were unanimous in their discussion that the St. Mary’s officials are living by antiquated rules and decisions. One of my callers asked if any nuns were teaching any boys at the school, as that would put a woman in a position of authority over boys.
I personally believe that the decision to not allow Ms. Campbell to officiate could have been handled much more appropriately. If this is the school policy, they should have notified the high school activities association in advance and two male referees could have been assigned for the game. It is also very clear that if this is the policy that this school follows, the Kansas High School Activities Association should decide whether they want schools in their organization with these beliefs. I believe these beliefs are wrong and do not teach their students about equality and fairness in sports. This topic brings up a bigger issue.
Is it appropriate for women to coach and/or referee boys games? Is it appropriate for men to coach and/or referee girls games? If someone goes through appropriate training to be a coach or official, it should not matter what sex they are or whether they are coaching members of the opposite sex. I have seen men and women officials at golf matches, tennis tournaments, swim meets, and gymnastics meets. I have never heard of any problems or complaints about male or female officials at these events. I am aware of many teams that have women coaching boys and men coaching girls. As long as someone is trained properly, it should not matter who they are coaching, as long as they are qualified. In today’s society of gender equity, I find it difficult to believe that a school still has this biased philosophy.
January 23, 2008
Several times over the past few weeks, I have had conversations with parents, asking me how they should react and what they should say to their kids about wanting to quit their sport. If you have a son or daughter playing sports, sooner or later this issue will confront you. So exactly what should you do? What should you say? I think it depends on how old your child is and just what their reasons are for quitting. Essentially, there are three levels to discuss.
The first level relates to kids who are playing sports at the elementary school level. I have mentioned numerous times in this column that I feel as a society, we are starting our kids way too early in organized sports. The pressure to keep up with everyone else has led to many kids starting on an organized team before they are even enrolled in kindergarten. Too often, these kids are signed up by parents because they are afraid their kids will fall behind their peers. Many parents will get their child involved in a sport because they played it as a child and feel they will be able to help their child succeed. There is nothing wrong with this. However, many elementary school age kids will play to please their parents. They often don’t know any better and may eventually lose interest by fifth or sixth grade. I believe that if your child is in this age group and wants to quit, there are two things to do. First, I believe it is important that once your child has signed up for a team, they should finish out the season. The only reason I would be in favor of allowing your child to quit during the season, would be if they are in an abusive situation where their confidence and self esteem are being harmed by participating. Second, if they want to quit when the season is over, talk with them about it. Give them some time off from the sport before you make a final decision. Sometimes just taking some time away will regenerate their enthusiasm.
The second level involves kids at the middle school level. Usually these kids have had much more experience playing and often will begin to lose interest when either they don’t get to play as much as their peers, or because their teams are not winning. This is where you the parent, must become the psychologist. Ask your child why they want to stop participating. If they give you a good reason, don’t get upset at them. Remember this must be their decision, not yours. Yes, you will be upset, especially if you have been coaching them. But, this needs to be about them, not you. Don’t let your personal feelings and upset become a barrier between you and your child because you don’t want them to stop. However, make sure they have another activity to get involved in. This is the age when too many kids can end up getting lost in the shuffle.
The third level relates to your son or daughter at the high school or college level. They have played sports most of their life and you have coached them, driven car pools, traveled to tournaments and sat on uncomfortable bleachers cheering them on. But, they are now at the age where it has to be their decision. No matter how difficult it may be for you, let them decide on their own. If they ask for your feedback, be honest, but let them know that it needs to be up to them. Remember the fun you have had watching them and assisting them. Be proud of them for making a decision on their own and know that you have succeeded as a parent when they can make this decision.
Listen to Dr. Jacobs every Sunday morning from 8-9AM on Sports Radio 810WHB. Reach him thru his website at www.winnersunlimited.com or call him at his office at 816-561-5556.
December 19, 2007
In early December, former Senator George Mitchell released the results of his study about steroid use in Major League Baseball. In his report, he released the names of over 80 current and former Major League players who he believed had either used or were using steroids or human growth hormone as a way to enhance their performance on the field. Many of the players accused in the report are well known and have had a long history of success.
Early in the NFL season, during a game between the New York Jets and the New England Patriots, the Patriots were accused of videotaping the Jets sidelines during the game in attempt to steal the Jets defensive signals. The Patriots are in the midst of an undefeated season, something that has not happened since the 1973 Miami Dolphins.
Unfortunately, almost every summer, we hear about cyclists riding in the Tour de France who test positive for performance enhancing drugs that are banned by the sport. Earlier this fall, Olympic sprinter Marion Jones, gave up her five Olympic medals after admitting she had used performance enhancing drugs during the 2000 Summer Olympics.
Since 1981, I have been working as a sport psychologist with athletes from youth sports to the professional and Olympic levels. Unfortunately, throughout my career the topic of cheating has repeatedly been discussed at all levels of competition. Whether it is a youth sport coach who knowingly uses an athlete who is older than the age requirement or a high school coach who turns his head when the discussion of steroid use comes up among his star athletes, coaches at all levels are looking for whatever venue they can to win. And many will break the rules in the quest to get that championship.
The use of steroids and human growth hormone has become widespread in our society. The benefits to using them has been well documented. Athletes who use either steroids or human growth hormone will increase their strength and/or endurance. For many athletes and coaches, they know that using these substances will give them the edge they are looking for to defeat their opponents. However, even though they are against the rules, many will use them anyway. WHY? In my opinion, it is simple. It is because of fear, insecurity and a lack of confidence with themselves. I recently heard a quote that, “You are not trying if you are not cheating.”
So what do we do to stop this and start competing by the rules again? I think it is fair to say that no matter what the rules are, no matter how strongly they are enforced, there will always be someone who will cheat. It doesn’t matter what sport or what level, someone will always be looking for a way to avoid the rules. Obviously, the professional sport leagues, the Olympics and collegiate sports have implemented a drug testing policy. Some are successful and some are not. All have weaknesses. I believe we must start at the youth level. Not with drug testing, but with an emphasis on the importance of sportsmanship. I recently spoke with an official with the United States Tennis Association, who told me that cheating has exploded in tennis, not only on the court, but in applications to play in leagues. Many people who apply to play, blatantly lie about their tennis experience in order to play at levels where they will be able to win. This official said that the lies are getting to a point where it is almost out of control.
The National Alliance of Youth Sports, one of the top educational organizations for youth sports, has a one strike and you’re out policy. If a parent, who is coaching is caught cheating, he/she is banned for life, along with their child. Sounds harsh, but the organization’s founder, Fred Engh, has stated it is a necessity, because otherwise the problem will just continue. I feel, now more than ever, we must promote sportsmanship at all levels of sport, and we must begin with the young athletes and their parents who are just starting out. Proper sportsmanship policies should take precedent over winning and losing at the youth sports level. There must be appropriate education for parents, athletes and coaches. Young athletes should be taught the importance of being a good sport, and should be taught to not be afraid to tell their coach or parent if someone is cheating. Fear should not be the barrier to handle this problem. Being good communicators should become the emphasis for all involved.
I believe if we educate young athletes, parents and coaches we can help to keep this problem from developing at the levels it has grown to today. Teaching kids fundamentals is essential to learning how to play a sport. However, teaching them the values of honesty, integrity, respect and fair play will help them grow and develop not just as an athlete, but as a productive member of our society.
November 21, 2007
This past month, I had a new client come into my office with his parents. He is a teenage tennis player, who according to his parents, was having problems focusing on and off the court. During a match, he will sometimes start daydreaming and often get distracted by players yelling on other courts. In school, he stated that it is difficult for him to stay focused in some of his classes. Frequently, his mind will wander to his tennis matches, or just to thoughts that have nothing to do with his class. He said that several times teachers have called on him to answer questions that he wasn’t listening to, and he would be quite embarrassed because he had no idea what the question was. Both this young man and his parents were interested in finding ways to help him focus better and learn how to deal with his distractions. He had been tested for both Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). The test results showed that he did not have either disorder.
In today’s society, it is very common to find young people on all kinds of medications, especially for ADD or ADHD or for depression and anxiety. All too often in my opinion, psychiatrists are quick to give a diagnosis and to put a young person on some medication that may not always be necessary. We have become a quick fix society, and it is much easier to give someone a pill, than to do talk therapy and find behavioral or other psychotherapeutic solutions to problems like concentration, anxiety or depression. More and more I am talking with adolescent and teenage clients who appear to be suffering from information overload more than from a psychiatric diagnosis. Young people today are bombarded with stimuli from every direction. Cable tv, Ipods, computers, cell phones, MP 3 players, video games… all provide venues to a young person’s concentration.
Email, voice mail, text messaging are different methods of communicating. In 40 years, we have come a long way from three television stations, transistor radios, and rotary dial telephones!
After three sessions with the young tennis player, we realized that his concentration problems were coming from stimulus overload. When he wasn’t in school or playing tennis (which he did approximately three hours a day) he was playing computer games or constantly text messaging his friends on his cell phone. From the minute he woke up each day until bedtime, his mind was constantly busy, with little time to relax and just hang out. We discussed a plan for him to take some time each day away from all the technology to just relax and visualize positive things happening in his life. After one week, he told me how much better he felt and how much easier it was for him to concentrate both in class and on the tennis court.
Many of the parents I have spoken with are frustrated that their young athletes have difficulty concentrating and performing to their potential. What I am finding out is that many of these young people are often involved in two to three activities at the same time. Typically, they will rush from one practice to another, doing their homework in the car and grabbing some fast food in between practices. Why? I believe it is because too many parents are in a hurry to keep up with everyone else. If their son’s friend is playing soccer, baseball and taking guitar lessons, than their son probably should also.
Perhaps the most important word I have been using lately in my sessions, especially with parents, is BALANCE. This doesn’t mean that everything is equal. It means that there is a place and time for everything. If you feel your kids are always rushing from one activity to another, that they are always busy, step back and take a reality check. Ask yourself if the stress of going from one activity to another is worth it for yourself as well as your child. How often do you have a family dinner at home where no one answers or uses their cell phones or Ipods and the tv and radio were off? Do your kids have time every day to relax and not have a planned activity? Can they go to bed and sleep through the night without being woken up by a voice mail or text message? Think about it and let me know your thoughts…
